Holiday-ayy! Celebray-ayyt!

I love holidays. This is my second 3-day weekend in a row, thanks to Feb 11th's Lincoln's Birthday festivities (I still have confetti in my underwear from that one) and today's President's Day. When you work for a municipality, you get lotsa holidays. The next one is not until the end of March, when we take the day off to revere and remember Cesar Chavez. I'm pouting. We're headed toward the slim holiday time of the year- after CC Day, we plod through April and May until Memorial Day. Then nothing in June! Then 4th of July. Nothing in August! Then Labor Day. After Labor Day, we get back to our one or two holidays a month bonanza until March again. I really do think a 4-day work week (some people off on Mondays, some on Fridays) would improve everything about this crazy nation.

As a consolation for the lack of city holidays, we're also heading into the time of the year when there is less traffic during commute hours. It's sort of inexplicable, but during the spring and summer, I guess more people are taking vacations or changing their traffic routes because they're not dropping kids off at school first. After a summer of breezing to work, the first day of school (especially college) is a shocking wakeup call on our freeways. Did everyone forget how to exit and enter over the summer?

I've spent the week and weekend working on my application to become a Court Supervisor. They want the city application, a resume, a Statement of Qualifications, and a quasi-essay on each of six different aspects of the job, where you experienced each, and how much of a percentage your involvement in said aspect affected the outcome. Since I haven't been taking copious notes on my daily activities for the last 20 years of work history, I'm pretty much reaching into the recesses of my mind and peppering my memories with college-words to describe them. This is all just to APPLY for the job. If the reviewers deem you unqualified based on your application, you will not proceed in the interview process. Bear in mind, my friends, that I actually WORK WITH AND KNOW people who are supervisors and managers, and I can't believe some of them got promoted when they can't even spell. Frankly, I like my current assignment and large-ability-to-goof-off factor; so while my heart takes this process lightly, my competitive nature is kicking in- if I'm going to apply at all, it has to be the BEST application their pea-brains have ever seen!

I also finally got off my ass and prepared a picture and resume to send to ABC Television's Pilots and Casting Project- a rare opportunity to do so, through my membership in the Screen Actors Guild. I really need new headshots, but if they call me in to read for a 20-something part, maybe I can wow them into casting me as her older sister anyway! :-D

Really truly a fresh clean scent

This stuff freakin' rocks, ok? People will wander toward your home/office to ask you what that fabulous fresh scent is.. Even if you don't have a pet, trust me and try it!

Morning Glory

I have been an early riser for many years- chalk that up to being the sole caretaker of a sweet, goofy dog. During the work week, I take her out by 7am, so it stands to reason that Saturday and Sunday are no different for her. I have her to thank for my adoration of early mornings. Oh, she usually has to prod and whine and poke and woof me from my warm bed, but once I'm up and outside (brrr!), I'm awake. My love for early morning is conditional- I only love it if I don't have to go to work. And this is one of those mornings.

Yesterday was gorgeous- 70 degrees! Today holds the same bright promise, and that's what I love about mornings. Getting up early means I get to watch the sky go from pink to blue, watch the sun come up, putter around, make coffee, play online, breathe in the sweet moments of a brand new day before it is filled with hustle and bustle. In my mind, a day turns ordinary around 11:30am- everyone's up, it's almost afternoon, and by then I feel behind in whatever it is I need to do. But from about 7am to 10am, to me that's the time when anything is possible and what I might accomplish this day seems limitless. My beloved dog is curled up at my feet, having gone back to sleep without a care in the world, while I sit in my easy chair and drink my coffee and write to my heart's content. All is right in my world, right now.

New Words to Enjoy and USE!

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners.
1 - Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2 - Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3 - Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4 - Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5 - Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6 - Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7 - Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
8 - Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9 - Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11- Glibido: All talk and no action.
12- Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
16- And the pick of the literature: Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Won't You Not Be My Neighbor?

I am, admittedly, a neat freak. While I wouldn't recommend you eat off my floors, they look like you could. Mostly. I am a clutterphobe. Maybe it's my theatre background, but I must see tidy stage pictures in every room. I hate imbalance. There is no way I could live amidst piles of papers, anything on the floor that doesn't belong there, unstraightened beds and pillows and throws. I even turn the "3" elevator button upside right when it has fallen over on its side, and a million germazoids touch that button every day. So I am not as much of an asshat about CLEAN, but order is important to me. (Ironically, I was so messy as a kid my mom hung a sign on my bedroom door that said "Welcome To The City Dump" and required that I keep my door shut at all times.)

So imagine my horror when walking by, oh, many MANY of the condos in my complex, when the front doors are open for all the world to see inside. Oh, the humanity! For one thing, prices here are outrageous, so we often have 4-6 people living in the same amount of space that I have blessedly always had to myself alone. From the outside, because of the home owners association, all looks uniform, tidy and neat. But peek inside these multi-occupant dwellings and it's enough to send me screaming. I cannot believe how people live. "Bears With Furniture" comes to mind (thanks Rita Rudner!). I've seen stuff that would make me call the Health Department and hire a conservator if anyone I personally knew lived there. But the worst of all, the one that has to be seen to be believed, is the old man who lives with his ANCIENT mother in a one-bedroom, and every CENTIMETER of counter, cupboard, wall, doorway, door, and CEILING is covered with beanie babies. Beanie. Babies. Little beanie shoulder to beanie shoulder. Everywhere the eye can see. ATTACHED to everything. And they leave their front door open all the time- perhaps to feel less suffocated? If I get up the nerve, I'll take a picture and post it here sometime.

Don't even get me started on my neighbor who barbeques every single night of the year... I'll talk about Barbeque Guy With the Kid Who Only Says 'Eeep!' some other time.... his place is a disaster. I wouldn't eat anything he fixed if he were Wolfgang Puck.

Not Quite Ready for the Work Week

I called in sick today. I woke up late, and it was raining. Rushing around and dealing with a compromised dog in the morning causes me a lot of stress, and consequently makes my shoulder/arm injury flare up. There was nothing on calendar today at work. So I said screw it. I didn't go back to bed, but I took my time and relaxed and made coffee. Then I took a shower and went out to run a few errands. Then I came back home and relaxed some more, spent some time with CS. I'm about to work on the Adoptions files I brought home over the weekend- I have to do final paperwork to close the files and make sure the families get their child's new birth certificate. I will take the dog out again and go get the mail, and then pick up a little bit around the house. And I have had my first pain-free day in months. I had forgotten what that feels like. The rain washed all the yellow acacia tree dust off my clean but unfortunately black car, that makes me happy too. Oh, and Friday is a court holiday. It's the little things that make all the difference.

Super Sunday

When the NFL Championship is on the line, the tough go shopping.

As someone who is trying to pay off debt and considering buying a bigger condo, I almost talked myself out of going. I didn't feel great, what with my work-related injury and the side effects of the pain meds I'm taking (hello Vicodin, goodbye regularity). But I was at the Rack a month ago and wished I had more time, so the possibility of cute clothes at 40% off lowest marked price was just too tempting on a day when I most assuredly would not be distracted by a CffS (certain football freak someone). Little did I know that the same cute summer tube-top dresses I saw a month ago would now be 75% off lowest marked price. I bought one in brown, pink, and black, and paid a little more for the same dress a month ago in a shimmery teal. Girls, my entire summer casual wardrobe is taken care of, courtesy of Nordstrom Rack, to the tune of FOUR DOLLARS AND 25 CENTS PER DRESS. I am one happy camper.

And the coolest part is that I could wear them outside now, in February. Can't do that in New England!

More heartwarming stories from the trenches

Earlier I posted about a juvenile delinquent we had in court named 'Ashtray'. As his given, legal name. Not a street name.

Today I heard about another juvenile, a girl... again, for real: her name was Latrine.
What the hell is wrong with people???

Meanwhile, over in the Foster Care part of my work world, I heard about a mom whose kid was taken away from her, so she filed in Small Claims court to get him back. Because "he's small." I really wish I was kidding.

Every day, work reminds me how lucky I am to be me.

Oh, the dangers of "Reply to All"

The Superior Court Presiding Judge's secretary sent out her monthly email link to a Supreme Court news release today. Someone in the building (Julie), a girl I don't know (otherwise I would tease her about this incident until the day she died), was obviously talking online or via email with someone else about WHAT I CAN'T IMAGINE when she made a terrible faux pas. She hit "Reply to All" in response to the Supreme Court news email after typing this tidbit of information: you're right on that I think I would try anything.To date I've tried pigs blood, cow testicles, alligator, snake gizzards, hearts, liver,any kind of fish....seafood & organs, any vegtable (sic), I've yet to try frog semen..but my girlfriend says its good..I'll let you guys know...

I swear I heard a moment of silence throughout the entire courthouse when we all received this little peek into her life. When I say all, I mean all judges, commissioners, staff, and I think the Administrative Office of the Courts and/or Judicial Council. I bet that was quite an 'ohnosecond' to behold, right after she hit Send.

It was everything I could do not to Reply to All "Hey everybody! Dinner at Julie's!"