1. Good thing I didn't slip and fall on the patch of ice (it was that cold last night!) I slid through this morning while pottying the dog. I would have landed on the hand holding the plastic bag of poo. Stuff like this only happens to me when I decide I'm sick of pants and put on a skirt and pantyhose. And am already late to work.
2. Some terms for the legions of bad drivers we have here.
"Meanderthals" (my mom thinks she created this one, but I think I've heard it elsewhere): People who just wander down the road, with no particular intent or destination, apparently no coherent thought, and no consideration for anyone else on the road. Why they're up at 7:30AM competing for road space with those of us who WORK FOR A LIVING is beyond me.
"#2 Squatters": People who squat in the number 2 lane on the freeway, doing about 60mph. Folks, the number 1 lane is for passing and those of you imbeciles driving what you think of as a fighter jet. The number 2 lane is not for taking a leisurely dump on the rest of us, despite its misleading designation; it's for driving FAST and yet being out of the way for said fighter jet imbeciles. The number 3 lane is for reasonable, Type B people, and the number 4 lane is for people who are exiting within one mile.
"Ears on the Road": People who drive with their ears watching the road, because their eyes are busy facing the person in the passenger seat and talking. Or swivelling around and around looking for something, at a good clip in heavy traffic, instead of pulling over and figuring out what the hell the plan is.
"Bedheads": People who drive as though they suddenly woke up and found themselves behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. "What the..? Am I DRIVING?? How did this happ..".
"Blinkization Point": The moment the guy in front of you realizes he's had his blinker on for 5 miles. Usually occurs when he decides to signal toward the OTHER direction. If you're so unconscious you don't hear your blinker for 20 minutes, you probably shouldn't be driving.
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