Today Part II

I work in Family Court, which includes Juvenile Delinquency and Dependency. It didn't take me long in this part of my varied work history to realize that society should simply ban MARRIAGE- why stop at gay marriage? And also, one of my personal mantras now is "Be careful who you have kids with" after what I've seen and heard in court. Actually, I'd be a proponent of sterilzation at birth, with a reverse of the procedure when you could prove you were emotionally and financially ready to have a child, if it would ever realistically work or pass into law. Some of the saddest stories you'd never want to hear are in juvenile. But I digress... the reason for this post is to share the WORST name I've yet to hear being bestowed upon a child who wound up in juvie jail. Now, we see lots of crazy juvenile names- all trying so hard to be unique, they wind up ridiculous. Names with crazy spellings. Names with more apostrophes than letters (example? Tr'a'n tae', stuff like that). Names that are a combination of mom and dad's names (example? Roberivia). Names that are dad's name spelled backwards (example? Dranoel. Not kidding). Names with extra letters and syllables that the parents and kids insist are SILENT! (example? Ronalie pronounced Ronel). Names that are an abridged version of a grocery store product (example? Lemongello and Orangello. Again, not kidding). But this was the worst name I'd ever seen on a kid, and no wonder he's in trouble: his name was Ashtray. I bet Ashley and Trayvon were so intent on giving their newborn a moniker that reflected the deep love and committment they had for each other (ahem) that they didn't even see what they were doing to him.