Was 9:50am too early to start with the Irish Coffees? No, I didn't think so either.
Friday, December 24, 2004
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Sublime Sunday
Went to the Dickens Christmas Fair today with my best friend in the whole world Lisa and her soul-mate husband, the equally irreverent Marty. We looked, we wandered, we gaped, and we mused. There seem to be three types of fair people: big women in corsets squeezing out more of their assets than acceptable in real life, scrawny women in corsets making more of their assets than real life clothes allow, and odd little men. Don't get me wrong: I've worked this particular fair as a singer myself, in days gone by. I saw a man there today that I did British Music Hall with 15 years ago. Oddly, he hadn't changed a bit, and he was no youngster when I knew him then. Funny how people don't change much sometimes.
Speaking of nothing ever changing: will the day ever come when I stop getting pimples? I mean, REALLY.. are they having a contest with my burgeoning wrinkles? Just wondering.
After the fair we went to TGI Fridays for drinks and modern food (no bangers and meat pies, thanks!). Lisa and I exchanged lovely Christmas presents. Marty opined that 7lbs PSI will break a human bone, and when I mentioned that the human jaw is like 1500 PSI, he said one could bite through one's own arm. I didn't believe him and asked him to prove it. Lisa then declared that her husband and her best friend shall henceforth refrain from drinking together. I guess she's right; our respective employers might look askance at a mayhem arrest, even self-inflicted.
Speaking of nothing ever changing: will the day ever come when I stop getting pimples? I mean, REALLY.. are they having a contest with my burgeoning wrinkles? Just wondering.
After the fair we went to TGI Fridays for drinks and modern food (no bangers and meat pies, thanks!). Lisa and I exchanged lovely Christmas presents. Marty opined that 7lbs PSI will break a human bone, and when I mentioned that the human jaw is like 1500 PSI, he said one could bite through one's own arm. I didn't believe him and asked him to prove it. Lisa then declared that her husband and her best friend shall henceforth refrain from drinking together. I guess she's right; our respective employers might look askance at a mayhem arrest, even self-inflicted.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Coffee's On!
This struck me as hilarious. I wish I could hang it in my courtroom.
And no, State Bar of California, I am not a judge.
Apropos of nothing..
My dog spent the whole day not eating.. wandering to her bowl, sniffing at the food that was so lovingly prepared for her, and wandering back to lie down somewhere. Finally at 9:30pm I guessed that she no longer wanted this 'old' food.. this from the dog who will stick her nose and tongue into any dark, unidentifiable mung outside, or cheerfully eat random cat poop we find along our walks. I threw out all the old food, which also included her expensive Rimadyl and Arthogen pills, and prepared a new bowl. She's happily chomping and smacking her way to the bottom.
She also destroyed a THREE DAY OLD Christmas toy I bought at Petco on Wednesday. It was the cutest moose (why are all the 'reindeer' really moose?) with webbed nylon rings for tugging on either end of his head, and he made a weird gurgling sound when shaken. We were playing tug and RIIIIIIP the nose came off in her mouth. Then I had to chase her around the house to get the nose back, full of stuffing, so I could throw the whole damn thing away.
In other news, yesterday I went to Rong-Aid (that's a Rite-Aid that has gone way downhill) and bought an aromatherapy thing that goes around your neck like an airplane 'travel pillow' after you heat it up in the microwave. It's got a removeable, washable cover and it came with a CD of birds chirping. (!!) I thought surely there would be some relaxing, synthesized music to go with the birds, but no, it's just 73 minutes of chirps. And an occasional woodpecker, which I at first mistook for a hunter. (I thought maybe someone in the environmental sounds factory had a sick sense of humor. Which I could totally appreciate, but no, it was just MY sick sense of humor). I think if my job was to put relaxing environmental sounds on CD 8 hours a day, I really would throw in random sound bytes of car crashes, 911 calls, hostage situations, and gunshots just to spice things up for my eventual consumer. Cuz irony's funny.
She also destroyed a THREE DAY OLD Christmas toy I bought at Petco on Wednesday. It was the cutest moose (why are all the 'reindeer' really moose?) with webbed nylon rings for tugging on either end of his head, and he made a weird gurgling sound when shaken. We were playing tug and RIIIIIIP the nose came off in her mouth. Then I had to chase her around the house to get the nose back, full of stuffing, so I could throw the whole damn thing away.
In other news, yesterday I went to Rong-Aid (that's a Rite-Aid that has gone way downhill) and bought an aromatherapy thing that goes around your neck like an airplane 'travel pillow' after you heat it up in the microwave. It's got a removeable, washable cover and it came with a CD of birds chirping. (!!) I thought surely there would be some relaxing, synthesized music to go with the birds, but no, it's just 73 minutes of chirps. And an occasional woodpecker, which I at first mistook for a hunter. (I thought maybe someone in the environmental sounds factory had a sick sense of humor. Which I could totally appreciate, but no, it was just MY sick sense of humor). I think if my job was to put relaxing environmental sounds on CD 8 hours a day, I really would throw in random sound bytes of car crashes, 911 calls, hostage situations, and gunshots just to spice things up for my eventual consumer. Cuz irony's funny.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
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