How Could An Angel Break My Heart?

There are no words in my head eloquent enough to do justice to this. Today I lost my best friend. For almost 15 years I cared for her and loved her, from our early days when it wasn't certain either of us would survive her puppyhood and my inexperienced single motherhood, to the last 9 months since she was diagnosed with a multitude of health problems. Considering the severity of all that was wrong with her, her tenacity and spunk were nothing short of miraculous. Even today, the worst day of our lives together, she didn't know she was sick. After a terrible week and a harrowing morning of what can minimalistically be described as digestive problems, her expression and disposition never faltered. In fact, when the time had come to go to the vet, she first enjoyed an outing at the park complete with the hunting of pinecones she had been unable to do in the limited walking we had done since her mobility became an issue. We played tug with a stick and walked round and round an area she used to love when she could walk for hours. I brushed her one last time. She was anxious to get into the car however- she smelled a road trip from a mile away. She panted in the front seat and stuck her wet nose out the window, catching the breeze that is doggie-psychedelic.

Even on the table at the vet, she was alert and while somewhat confused, certainly not in pain. I said my goodbyes as quickly as I could, so as not to allow her to become stressed. When the time came, I held her and breathed in the sweet doggie smell of her soft ruff. I told her I loved her, would love and miss her my whole life, and would keep her with me always. As terrible as this was, I was comforted that I had found the strength not to wait until she was in agony or delirious or panicked. Of course, the dichotomy of having to let go of a compromised pet who still wanted to eat and bark and romp and play is wrenching. But there was nothing more to be done, and within days it would have caught up with her.

Right now and forevermore, I am the only one of us who is suffering. I imagine I'll get through the next days and weeks the same way I've gotten through the last 6 hours. I can still feel her silky fur and the shape of her as she fit next to me when I held her.

Safe passage and until we meet again, my sweet angel. Mommy loves you more than you'll ever know.

Waiting Game

So, about the real estate.. So far, I've seen about 25 places and been outbid twice. The first time was a 2bd/2ba condo listed at 545k. I bid 30k over and didn't even come in 3rd. The second time was a 2bd/1ba 65year old house- I overbid by 70k and didn't get that one either. As I type this, I'm waiting to hear if my offer for a 3rd place is accepted, rejected, or countered.

Update: as I typed THAT, my realtor called and said the seller is interested in my offer but is 'looking for a little more' money. This, however, is more promising than anything else that has happened in the last two months. Especially since the open house on the property is in progress right now. Not willing to continue playing the game of Frenzy that is the real estate market here, I offered only 16k more than asking. I do have some wiggle room, so we now wait to see just how much more the seller is looking for. Odd that the seller's realtor didn't have the answer to that question when she called my realtor.

More work email hilarity

Today an email was received by the every single person working at the courthouse, from a fellow worker. It said, to wit, with no revisions from me: "Dear friends, May I have your empty tuna cans please. Wash first; then deliver to (my room number). I'm trapping earwigs."

This is the kind of absurd shit I find very funny. That someone working in the Superior Court would think to write, much less send, an email of such epic inappropriate, nay, white trash proportion to all judges, clerks, staff attorneys, supervisors and managers... well, it just cracks me up.

Then I started wondering if her desk area was infested with earwigs, or WTF? Because, we do work in the same marble and cherry wood building... I hate earwigs. And then it occurred to me, WTF is she TRAPPING THEM FOR?

I work with some really odd ducks.

Naming the Baby

When I go to work tomorrow, I get to do research on the juvenile history of one Almond Jamoky ******* (last name withheld for confidentiality). I bet Pops called him Fudge for short.

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here

So, I've been thinking about moving for about a year. First though, I needed to wait until I'd had my refinanced loan for a full year, to avoid pre-payment penalty. I still perused the multiple listing service, and often felt kicked in the gut at my inability to consider what appeared to be the perfect new home for me. Finally, the end of October came and I was free to divest myself of my condo and loan. But then it was almost winter, and the always-steaming housing market here in the Bay Area slowed a bit. I knew my dog was terminally ill, and thought it better to wait until spring, to allow her to pass away without the turmoil of moving and to better my chances with more inventory to pick from.

Well, spring is here, Easter is finally over, my dog is still kickin' it wit me, and inventory has swelled- right along with interest rates and housing prices. What it would have sold for in December or January means NOTHING now. Add about 50k. Had I bought last spring, I would have spent roughly 100k less than today. Surreal estate, they call it. If you don't live here, you just have no idea what it does to one's psyche to make more money than many large families in other parts of the country live on (and live WELL) in a year, and not be able to afford a 2bdrm dump in a bad neighborhood. (Ok, DivineMissK, I know you know!) I'm talking a condo, too, not a house.

A really fun part of Bay Area real estate is that the list price has nothing to do with reality. The list price is high, but you never offer that. Even with no contingencies (woe unto you if you have contingencies- just fuggetaboutit!), you offer at least 20k over list, and you'll probably get outbid anyway. I offered 30k over list last week on a 2bdrm condo and got outbid by at least 5k.

If I could afford a 700k mortgage, I could buy something small (say, 3bdrm/2ba house), habitable, in a good neighborhood. Not the Ritz, mind you.. but totally doable. It makes me heartsick to realize that will never happen for me here. I guess I'll stay where I am and keep hoping for something simply affordable to appear on the market...